Monday, June 10, 2013

Guffadi's satire on state's apathy towards the plight of kamlaris

As of now, the government has inked a deal with the former kamlaris to put an end to the 10 day long protest and Terai bandh. While the state and the so-called human rights and women activists turned deaf ears, the kamlaris chanted slogans on the streets, were hit hard by the police batons and boots, and eventually survived to protect their rights.

However, a section of Kathmanduites showed their solidarity with the kamlari's movement. A regular contributor to The Kathmandu Post, the blogger Guffadi captured the plight of kamlaris and jotted this brilliant piece of satire.

Republished with Guffadi's permission

Heads and tales: The losers strike again 

Protesting kamlaris (c) The Kathmandu Post

The Losers of the Week award goes to our men in blue who have once again shown us that they are nothing but a bunch of savages. It seems like the only job for those who have sworn to protect the public is to prey on them instead. Our successive governments have failed to prioritise police reform and have instead used our chor-police to attack common citizens.

Once again our police wallahs have made us proud by not discriminating against anyone. They will not leave anyone from Tibetan refugees to former Kamlaris alone. It doesn’t matter if the protestors are young or old or bold or beautiful or whether they are wearing Prabal Gurung or a Britney Spears t-shirt from the street hawker in Sundhara.

The Nepal Police have become loyal servants of those in power since the beginning of time. Maybe our IGP saheb should change the training manual before he retires. The existing manual must have chapters on how to use foul language, harass common citizens verbally and physically, and ways to rob and rape vulnerable women.

Our bideshi donors should send their overpaid consultants to train our chor-police on handling protestors. Where are our naari organisations when we need them? What happened to great dames like Arzoo Didi and Bandana Didi? Them ladies seem to get lots of funding from the kuireys to fight violence against women but I guess they are busy attending conferences around the world. Instead of  going on foreign junkets and telling the bideshis how our women are oppressed, why not take to the streets and help the real women to fight oppression?

And where are our ‘Occupy Baluwatar’ people, for that matter? Standing around, waving placards will not compel our incompetent government to listen to our demands. Shutting down the highways will only make it worse. We must ask our mothers and sisters to join the Kamlaris and arm themselves with brooms, sticks and whatever they can get. It’s time to fight back police brutality.

It’s a shame that our police wallahs were so aggressive towards our former Kamlaris and some were even molested and robbed. Where were our women police wallahs? If Nepal Police doesn’t have enough women personnel then this would be the good time to recruit a thousand more so that we don’t have to watch the men in blue lay their hands on women protestors. Where is the @#$!ing outrage? Where is Khilly Dai and his bunch of incompetent bureaucrats?

All of our political parties have their women organisations. Where are our women leaders? Maybe they are busy working on their speeches for the next convention. Our netri-nis like Sujata and Bidhya Didis have done nothing to help women in this country. They have only helped themselves to the all-you-can-eat buffets while they were heading ministries.

Our clowns are still fighting over how many buffoons can enjoy the buffet in the new Constituent Assembly. We wasted billions of rupees on 601 good-for-nothing lazy bums. Now, the Kangaroos and Unidentified Moronic Losers want to downsize to 491 freeloaders. Well, that would at least save us a few millions. When will we have competent folks who will refuse to take a dime for their time from the state coffer? Instead of writing the constitution, our buffoons were selling their own diplomatic passports and what not.

Our Foreign Ministry wants Rs 750 million to buy luxury vehicles for them big-wigs for the SAARC Summit. Yes, we will be hosting them sharks sometime in 2014 and all them neighbourhood leaders will need to ride around in bullet-proof Mercedes Benz. We should go green and save millions by getting rickshaws. Instead of purchasing bullet-proof vehicles, why not ask them VIPs to bring their own bullet-proof vests and full-body armour? 

Maybe we could save all that money if we hosted the summit during the monsoon season. We can then take them heads of states around the city on boats. We have failed to become the next Singapore or Switzerland. Maybe, we can try to be the next Venice.

Baidya uncle and his crew have decided to halt their protest programmes during the monsoon season. They do not want the farmers to suffer or maybe they just don’t have enough funds to buy enough gumboots and raincoats for their cadres. The angry birds have been having a tough time collecting money and muscles for their protest programs. They could do us a favour if they gathered all their cadres and armed them with buckets. And when it rains and our streets are flooded, they can jump into action and clear the paths. That would certainly win the hearts and minds of Valley residents. Then we wouldn’t mind pitching in a rupee or two for their chiya-paan karyakrams. But no shutting down the country, please!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

(Courtesy: The Kathmandu Post. Click the link to read the original post.)

Before you wrap up, listen to this song of sorrow, sadness and pain by a former kamlari Suma Tharu. She opened the third annual Women in the World Summit at the Lincoln Centre with this poignant song about her time as an indentured servant in Nepal

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